This really brings back memories. At least now most doctors understand that children can have depression. I can remember when it was all just a matter of discipline. Unfortunately for many parents it still is and the child has to suffer until they reach adulthood and get help themselves or until they are in a crisis.
Clay, I really like the artwork on this and the other childhood depression one’s you have done. They are spot on depictions. Also, belated congratulations on reaching 400 strips. That is an impressive accomplishment.
I was just going through journals from when I was 10 years old. Saying things like “I wish I was never born, I don’t want to be here, I am useless”. It put into perspective a lot of what’s still going on with me, and how old these recurring thoughts really are.
When I draw these, I take elements of both artists and try to mash them together. I like Watterson’s sense of kinetic energy and I like Schultz’s expressions of depression and anxiety. When I was young I found myself deeply relating to Charlie Brown’s desperation, and those strips inspire me to this day.
I need a Linus to listen to me and say, “That sucks, Charlie Brown. Let’s go fuck something up with that tiger. Tigers love to fuck shit up, Charlie Brown.”
where the cliched reply “attention whore”? i don’t get it; they always ALWAYS say they’ll listen and then they make regret you said anything. if they really think what you are going through is not worth it they they should not ask about your emotional side! replies such as “it’s just a phase, grow the hell up, man up, get over it, my life is worse than yours, wait until you are an adult then you’ll see what real life is like!” etc etc etc …. people just never never NEVER listen! i’m not saying they do not listen with their ears i am saying they are not HEARING your heart! and brain! suffering! it’s not a phase, and regardless how much you grow up it’ll stay! your life is worse than mine!? LET’S START COMPETING TELL ME ABOUT YOURS AND I’LL MAKE YOU CRY BLOOD OVER MINE! wait until i grow up?? is there even a reason to grow up anymore!? if the real life is nothing more than taxes paying, doing a job you hate only so that you can get food on your table, and just carry on like a slave robot then living is not worth it! what’s next? get married and GIVE US GRANDCHILDREN?! yeah sure! …… why would i want to give you something when i see you treating me like nothing more than a slave robot? GO ADOPT YOURSELVES GRANDCHILDREN! attention seeker, negative debater? disgusting pessimist? negative commenter? childish behaviors!? i literally wish you get what i’m suffering! i DO! and let’s see how many NOOSES will be found! suffering what we are suffering …”giggles” HELL EVEN THE SMARTIANS COULDN’T KEEP UP WITH ME! they got tired and our e-mails stopped! and you are telling me your life is worse than mine! …….. yeah it’s much worse than mine because i exist in a world where mental illness has no value where its sufferers are just seeking attention they never deserved… this hell can go to hell for all i care!
*HUGS* I’m hanging on partly due to video game addiction, stubbornness, and helping everybody I can to get through this kinda shit.
Also because I’ve set up a system where I will sleep when depressed, so I wind up not killing myself. It’s that dependent upon fatigue. So I’m alive because I am too lazy to die while not rested! 😀
There do exist reasons to hang on. And they don’t all work all the time. I suggest collecting them. Some are going to work better than others.
And there are benefits to our condition. Nothing gives you permission… nothing gives you the power… to say “Fuck you, I’m not doing this shit.” like knowing that doing a job that makes you feel like shit, that makes you screw over another person… that makes you spread misery? Knowing that is *death* for us makes it way easier to say no. And it works for a lot of things. Sure, we can go way too far with it, but… we’re already living with a lot of “It’s so bad I might end it all.” so there’s less perceived risk in a lot of shit.
I got on meds and got therapy and thought about the “risk” that it’d change who I was… a bit. But who I was… was living under a death sentence, so maybe that’s OK. Salvage what I can from my life… and worst case, I die anyway. But I can’t let go until I’m sure I’ve tried everything.
Part of the problem, too, is that both children have trouble expressing themselves and adult have trouble relating to children… AND some kids are attention seeking little emotion-whores
Adults have trouble telling the difference from a needy little attention seeker and someone with a genuine emotional problem.
The only real answer is to genuinely listen to them, no fob-offs, no “competing in sadness” just LISTEN.
In many cases, listening is all that’s needed to actually help them feel better too – someone actually cares enough to treat them as equals and listen to their words rather than hear it through the “adult filter”.
Among other things they never got around to doing, my family of origin never got around to teaching me to name my emotions. I wasn’t allowed to have any anyway–at least not so as they’d show. So there I was at this birthday party, looking around at all the other kids, and I just got tired of trying to figure out how to interact with them. Just so tired of trying and trying and getting it wrong. So I just let the nameless whatever-it-was inside me show on my face.
The nice lady whose daughter was the birthday girl sought me out more than 20 years later just to hand me a snapshot she had taken of me at the party. “I didn’t realize it at the time,” she said to me, “but that’s the saddest little girl I’ve ever seen.”
Nice to know, Mrs. D. It might have been a lot nicer if you’d seen it for what it was back when I was six.
My depressed son is going into therapy at age eight. My parental figures used to tell me that I would understand when I had kids. I do understand. I understand that they were inadequate and self-absorbed, and that I’m going to do better.
It’s why there are times I can get bitter about the aftermath of when there’s been a celeb that dies from suicide (or alternatively, a fictional character or scene that involves suicide). Because the same people that are sad/devastated by the death and/or moved by the subject portrayal who will then say, “if you need to talk please reach out to me” are the same people that have brushed off my words saying, – “it can’t be that bad”; -“others have it worse than you”; -“think positive!;” -“I know just how you feel (except how many times have you stated having the complete opposite outcome of my problem?), etc.” So all their “I care/please come to me anytime” ring more like empty words and an ego boost for them
Jeez, that’s the EXACT topic of this week’s strip (high tier Patreon supporters have already seen it). It’s a Society strip, so when it’s posted this Sunday I hope you like it.
I was JUST explaining this problem to a friend tonight that I CONSTANTLY have with people. They say “I’m always here if you need to talk. Call me.” But my beef is Why doesn’t anyone EVER contact me just to see how I am feeling? That would be so nice if any of my “friends” that know I am depressed would do that. But it’s asking too much I guess.
This really brings back memories. At least now most doctors understand that children can have depression. I can remember when it was all just a matter of discipline. Unfortunately for many parents it still is and the child has to suffer until they reach adulthood and get help themselves or until they are in a crisis.
Clay, I really like the artwork on this and the other childhood depression one’s you have done. They are spot on depictions. Also, belated congratulations on reaching 400 strips. That is an impressive accomplishment.
I was just going through journals from when I was 10 years old. Saying things like “I wish I was never born, I don’t want to be here, I am useless”. It put into perspective a lot of what’s still going on with me, and how old these recurring thoughts really are.
Kids get depressed. Take them seriously.
Still dealing with childhood trauma in therapy. #WeWereNormal #ThatWasALie
My child expressed suicidal ideations at seven. I’m glad they felt safe enough to tell me.
I’m debating if Charlie Brown finally grew hair or if Calvin dyed his. Either way Snoopy and Hobbes are missing.
That’s when the magic left…
When I draw these, I take elements of both artists and try to mash them together. I like Watterson’s sense of kinetic energy and I like Schultz’s expressions of depression and anxiety. When I was young I found myself deeply relating to Charlie Brown’s desperation, and those strips inspire me to this day.
Calvin was surprisingly profound at times, while Chuck was more grounded in his grief. Good choices.
I need a Linus to listen to me and say, “That sucks, Charlie Brown. Let’s go fuck something up with that tiger. Tigers love to fuck shit up, Charlie Brown.”
“It’s how tigers get babes”
This could have been me.
this is me.
where the cliched reply “attention whore”?
i don’t get it; they always ALWAYS say they’ll listen and then they make regret you said anything.
if they really think what you are going through is not worth it they they should not ask about your emotional side!
replies such as “it’s just a phase, grow the hell up, man up, get over it, my life is worse than yours, wait until you are an adult then you’ll see what real life is like!” etc etc etc ….
people just never never NEVER listen! i’m not saying they do not listen with their ears i am saying they are not HEARING your heart! and brain! suffering!
it’s not a phase, and regardless how much you grow up it’ll stay! your life is worse than mine!? LET’S START COMPETING TELL ME ABOUT YOURS AND I’LL MAKE YOU CRY BLOOD OVER MINE! wait until i grow up?? is there even a reason to grow up anymore!?
if the real life is nothing more than taxes paying, doing a job you hate only so that you can get food on your table, and just carry on like a slave robot then living is not worth it!
what’s next? get married and GIVE US GRANDCHILDREN?! yeah sure! …… why would i want to give you something when i see you treating me like nothing more than a slave robot? GO ADOPT YOURSELVES GRANDCHILDREN!
attention seeker, negative debater? disgusting pessimist? negative commenter?
childish behaviors!?
i literally wish you get what i’m suffering! i DO! and let’s see how many NOOSES will be found!
suffering what we are suffering …”giggles” HELL EVEN THE SMARTIANS COULDN’T KEEP UP WITH ME! they got tired and our e-mails stopped!
and you are telling me your life is worse than mine! …….. yeah it’s much worse than mine because i exist in a world where mental illness has no value where its sufferers are just seeking attention they never deserved… this hell can go to hell for all i care!
*HUGS* I’m hanging on partly due to video game addiction, stubbornness, and helping everybody I can to get through this kinda shit.
Also because I’ve set up a system where I will sleep when depressed, so I wind up not killing myself. It’s that dependent upon fatigue. So I’m alive because I am too lazy to die while not rested! 😀
There do exist reasons to hang on. And they don’t all work all the time. I suggest collecting them. Some are going to work better than others.
And there are benefits to our condition. Nothing gives you permission… nothing gives you the power… to say “Fuck you, I’m not doing this shit.” like knowing that doing a job that makes you feel like shit, that makes you screw over another person… that makes you spread misery? Knowing that is *death* for us makes it way easier to say no. And it works for a lot of things. Sure, we can go way too far with it, but… we’re already living with a lot of “It’s so bad I might end it all.” so there’s less perceived risk in a lot of shit.
I got on meds and got therapy and thought about the “risk” that it’d change who I was… a bit. But who I was… was living under a death sentence, so maybe that’s OK. Salvage what I can from my life… and worst case, I die anyway. But I can’t let go until I’m sure I’ve tried everything.
almost forgot to thank you for the new post
Yep, true. Nobody is EVER listening, yet they love to pat themselves on the back for being a good, supportive friend. Heh. Yeah. Whatever.
^^^^^
Someone . Finally.Said.IT.
Thank you.
Utterly alone…sigh
I swear it’s like you were watching my childhood. Seems this happened to a lot of us.
I remember being depressed by age 12 because of a combination of having visible disabilities and a emotionally abusive father.
Meditation and not allowing toxic people into my life help.
I literally begged my mom to get me help. She just told me I was being dramatic and that I was fine.
Part of the problem, too, is that both children have trouble expressing themselves and adult have trouble relating to children… AND some kids are attention seeking little emotion-whores
Adults have trouble telling the difference from a needy little attention seeker and someone with a genuine emotional problem.
The only real answer is to genuinely listen to them, no fob-offs, no “competing in sadness” just LISTEN.
In many cases, listening is all that’s needed to actually help them feel better too – someone actually cares enough to treat them as equals and listen to their words rather than hear it through the “adult filter”.
this wasn’t me as a kid i don’t know what is. people never took me seriously until i actually tried to…you know
Among other things they never got around to doing, my family of origin never got around to teaching me to name my emotions. I wasn’t allowed to have any anyway–at least not so as they’d show. So there I was at this birthday party, looking around at all the other kids, and I just got tired of trying to figure out how to interact with them. Just so tired of trying and trying and getting it wrong. So I just let the nameless whatever-it-was inside me show on my face.
The nice lady whose daughter was the birthday girl sought me out more than 20 years later just to hand me a snapshot she had taken of me at the party. “I didn’t realize it at the time,” she said to me, “but that’s the saddest little girl I’ve ever seen.”
Nice to know, Mrs. D. It might have been a lot nicer if you’d seen it for what it was back when I was six.
My depressed son is going into therapy at age eight. My parental figures used to tell me that I would understand when I had kids. I do understand. I understand that they were inadequate and self-absorbed, and that I’m going to do better.
It’s why there are times I can get bitter about the aftermath of when there’s been a celeb that dies from suicide (or alternatively, a fictional character or scene that involves suicide). Because the same people that are sad/devastated by the death and/or moved by the subject portrayal who will then say, “if you need to talk please reach out to me” are the same people that have brushed off my words saying,
– “it can’t be that bad”;
-“others have it worse than you”;
-“think positive!;”
-“I know just how you feel (except how many times have you stated having the complete opposite outcome of my problem?), etc.”
So all their “I care/please come to me anytime” ring more like empty words and an ego boost for them
Jeez, that’s the EXACT topic of this week’s strip (high tier Patreon supporters have already seen it). It’s a Society strip, so when it’s posted this Sunday I hope you like it.
I was JUST explaining this problem to a friend tonight that I CONSTANTLY have with people. They say “I’m always here if you need to talk. Call me.” But my beef is Why doesn’t anyone EVER contact me just to see how I am feeling? That would be so nice if any of my “friends” that know I am depressed would do that. But it’s asking too much I guess.
I remember something from when I was in high school. “They say these are the happiest days of our lives.”
“You mean it gets worse?”
Thirty years later, I’m still not sure of the answer