It’s not always bullying, most times people are innocently ignorant and genuinely want to help (but end up making things worse). We’re all human, and both are natural reactions to such a disturbing situation for everyone involved (that no one is really prepared to deal with). That’s only my opinion of course. Cheers.
Also it’s what the media has been teaching the lay public by a gruesome oversimplification of cognitive-behavioural hypotheses which are dangerously reduced to a toxic “you only have to choose to be happy”.
Projecting a fear of inferiority through insults can be a sign of discomfort with vulnerability and intimacy. Say, I don’t feel like I can handle the needs and emotions of others, I display strength in order to not be perceived as weak or associated with someone who I think is weak
I agree with Daniel Avila’s comment. As for Daniel Walker’s question, it’s a very good one and hence a very hard to answer. I think it’s something that can only be assessed at an individual level because the nature of the relationship as well as non-verbal ques can all influence the answer.
Sometimes, you even hear that from yourself. Those comments. And it can get harder to deal with them. But I suppose that’s just society for you. Everyone’s been raised to entitle themselves to better treatment above anyone else. or maybe it’s antural instinct? Anyway, it goes against humble humanity, in my opinion. Or when they come from your own mind, it’s a sign that it’s getting worse.
I remember friends saying stuff like that to me. That I’m just being sorry for myself. And when I said I had suicidal thoughts, one of them (a trained nurse) linked me a comic about someone who jumped hearing about everyone’s problems on the way down. Then they told me how to go kill myself. :/
Yesterday in therapy I broached the subject of being evaluated for Asperger’s Syndrome. If I do receive the diagnosis, not only will my cPTSD treatment plans be better tailored, but the synonymity with autism will give me a way to forestall the kind of responses depicted in the strip. It will be a very welcome relief.
At least they usually mean well. Almost everyone feels down sometimes, and they have coping mechanisms that help them feel better. When they find out you’re feeling down they tell you what worked for them in the hope that it will work for you.
What they’re missing is that depression isn’t merely a matter of being tired and feeling sad. It’s a serious illness. If the usual coping mechanisms worked no one would be depressed. Treatment for depression involves fundamental changes in the patterns of one’s thoughts and feelings, and that takes enormous effort over a long period of time.
I feel this so hard! Yes! When I told my dad about my diagnosis he said “don’t let them put you on any medications or anything.” Why would you say that about depression when you wouldn’t about high blood pressure or diabetes?
bam
Although if you say that kind of stuff to a depressed person, you ARE a bad person.
I hate bullies.
It’s not always bullying, most times people are innocently ignorant and genuinely want to help (but end up making things worse). We’re all human, and both are natural reactions to such a disturbing situation for everyone involved (that no one is really prepared to deal with). That’s only my opinion of course. Cheers.
Also it’s what the media has been teaching the lay public by a gruesome oversimplification of cognitive-behavioural hypotheses which are dangerously reduced to a toxic “you only have to choose to be happy”.
Projecting a fear of inferiority through insults can be a sign of discomfort with vulnerability and intimacy. Say, I don’t feel like I can handle the needs and emotions of others, I display strength in order to not be perceived as weak or associated with someone who I think is weak
At what point are ignorance and personal issues sufficiently indistinguishable from just being a shitty person to be treated as the same thing?
What is The Asshole Threshold?
Daniel Walker may I swipe your post?
I agree with Daniel Avila’s comment. As for Daniel Walker’s question, it’s a very good one and hence a very hard to answer. I think it’s something that can only be assessed at an individual level because the nature of the relationship as well as non-verbal ques can all influence the answer.
Sometimes, you even hear that from yourself. Those comments. And it can get harder to deal with them. But I suppose that’s just society for you. Everyone’s been raised to entitle themselves to better treatment above anyone else. or maybe it’s antural instinct? Anyway, it goes against humble humanity, in my opinion. Or when they come from your own mind, it’s a sign that it’s getting worse.
I hear this from my mother about my anxiety and depression all the time.
Rule 1 for depressed people on the internet, don’t look for any kind of comfort or sympathy on the internet.
Rule number one for people, period.
You will always find comfort and sympathy on this page.
“A bully is a bully, whether she uses the strength of her arm or other means.”
… I don’t actually remember where that’s from, but it seemed oddly relevant here.
This is exactly why I hid my illness for so long. Of course, it didn’t help with me telling myself those very things.
I remember friends saying stuff like that to me. That I’m just being sorry for myself. And when I said I had suicidal thoughts, one of them (a trained nurse) linked me a comic about someone who jumped hearing about everyone’s problems on the way down. Then they told me how to go kill myself. :/
Knowing that someone out there thinks that this is an OK thing to do to someone who has suicidal thoughts really really angers me.
Thank you for allowing me to “say” it out for the first time. They aren’t in my life now but I’m sure you understand the hurt remains
Yesterday in therapy I broached the subject of being evaluated for Asperger’s Syndrome. If I do receive the diagnosis, not only will my cPTSD treatment plans be better tailored, but the synonymity with autism will give me a way to forestall the kind of responses depicted in the strip. It will be a very welcome relief.
At least they usually mean well. Almost everyone feels down sometimes, and they have coping mechanisms that help them feel better. When they find out you’re feeling down they tell you what worked for them in the hope that it will work for you.
What they’re missing is that depression isn’t merely a matter of being tired and feeling sad. It’s a serious illness. If the usual coping mechanisms worked no one would be depressed. Treatment for depression involves fundamental changes in the patterns of one’s thoughts and feelings, and that takes enormous effort over a long period of time.
“At least they mean well” has killed a lot of people. At the funeral, at least they can take comfort in having meant well.
Hence the expression “The road to Hell is paved with good intentions”.
I feel this so hard! Yes! When I told my dad about my diagnosis he said “don’t let them put you on any medications or anything.” Why would you say that about depression when you wouldn’t about high blood pressure or diabetes?