Commentary from May 23, 2017
This was probably not the best strip to put out before Valentine’s Day, but there are going to be a lot of people suffering because it’s Valentine’s Day and you’re supposed to be with someone. What if you think with your illness you shouldn’t be with anyone? This was probably not the best strip to put out before Valentine’s Day, but there are going to be a lot of people suffering because it’s Valentine’s Day and you’re supposed to be with someone. What if you think with your illness you shouldn’t be with anyone?
It kind of freaks people out when you talk along these lines. Depression can rob you of interest in meeting people, doing the mating dance, putting the necessary effort into a relationship … and in the back of your mind, you feel that in your condition it wouldn’t work anyways, a combination of knowing yourself and past experience. Explaining this to other people, they can’t figure it out. (Then they’ll turn around and give the “You can’t love someone else until you love yourself speech” as if they’ve figured out the magic ingredient in your lack of love life).
What it comes right down to is this: depression can make you a difficult person to love and make it difficult to love. It’s not impossible, but it takes a lot more patience, a lot more work, and an understanding of what makes depressed people do and think as they do.
And let’s not forget how amazingly awful it feels when things fall apart. Relationships that dissolve are no fun for anyone, but when you suffer from depression, it can hurt a lot worse, and the aftereffects last a long time. Getting involved can seem like a gamble, one that may just not be worth it.
However, research does say that relationships provide support and motivation. But as a sufferer, you know that it’s not right to get involved for those self-serving reasons. You’re going through hell, and you don’t want to take anyone along to benefit yourself.
There is no good answer to this one, maybe.
It kind of freaks people out when you talk along these lines. Depression can rob you of interest in meeting people, doing the mating dance, putting the necessary effort into a relationship … and in the back of your mind, you feel that in your condition it wouldn’t work anyways, a combination of knowing yourself and past experience. Explaining this to other people, they can’t figure it out. (Then they’ll turn around and give the “You can’t love someone else until you love yourself speech” as if they’ve figured out the magic ingredient in your lack of love life).
What it comes right down to is this: depression can make you a difficult person to love and make it difficult to love. It’s not impossible, but it takes a lot more patience, a lot more work, and an understanding of what makes depressed people do and think as they do.
And let’s not forget how amazingly awful it feels when things fall apart. Relationships that dissolve are no fun for anyone, but when you suffer from depression, it can hurt a lot worse, and the aftereffects last a long time. Getting involved can seem like a gamble, one that may just not be worth it.
However, research does say that relationships provide support and motivation. But as a sufferer, you know that it’s not right to get involved for those self-serving reasons. You’re going through hell, and you don’t want to take anyone along to benefit yourself.
There is no good answer to this one, maybe.
Damn, this is too real right now, I’m crying and I’ve just finished reading it
The bigger paradox is when you curb your personal demons till your special other is out of the house
I have this convo waaaaay to often… With myself.
I haven’t dated anyone in over 15 years. I’m healthy now, but I don’t know how to be in a relationship.
I have these kind of feelings too…. and also when someone tries to form a friendship with me…
That is how it’s been for me these past 20yrs. It is better this way, even if I do get lonely every so often.
This is me right now, except that I’m scared of relationships and men.
I feel bad for my husband all the time. He’s really supportive though. Even with my mental issues and physical illnesses. I literally would not be alive without him. He saved me from a really bad suicide attempt like a year into us starting to date and had never left my side. He helps me when I struggle to love myself, he’s a shoulder to cry on and he is a wonderful listener. I had resigned myself to being alone, but he came in, accepted me for who I am and has made me strive to be a better person, for him but also for myself. I feel like I don’t deserve him at all, but he always says he choses to be with me for better or for worse. 13 years strong.
Uh, this is me. Right there.
It’s like the would-be helpers all read from the same script. I always know how it will end: with them constantly trying to play matchmaker. Freaks me out, and since I can’t ever seem to make them stop, I slowly push them out of my life.
Yup, this is exactly what I’ve been thinking about over the past week. Not only do I want to stay away from a relationship because of my temper, I also don’t want kids due to bipolarism being extremely heritable.
Yikes. Nothing like Valentine’s Day to make you feel even worse.
Exactly me. I feel bad for my husband and assume he only stays with me out of inertia.
I’ve never tried to relationship because this is how I feel. I’m 28.