Commentary from February 15, 2017
This is one of the worrying aspects of depression, when things that are supposed to make you feel happy just don’t. Or you feel good but it doesn’t last, the feeling of happiness passes far more quickly than it should. In my position, it made me double guess and triple guess the good things in my life because good things never ever felt all that good, and it made me believe that I was making the same mistakes that led me to my depression. I’m not sure that this is a universal feeling, but I did come across some research that depressed people did feel good for shorter periods of time than non-depressed, although I can’t find that paper anymore.
At the time, an acquaintance I hadn’t spoken to for years called up and asked me if I wanted a small part time teaching gig at a school teaching Scratch for a really nice sum. Instead of happy, I felt incredibly anxious and overwhelmed and worried tremendously about it. I did it, it wasn’t that bad, but when good fortune happens it really scares the crap out of me. It makes me sink into a deep blue spell. What people think of me has got to be awful.
This comic also features the sister, who has turned out to be a really good model for a listener. She just listens, doesn’t judge, and it seems to me that she always loves her brother. She’s a good example of what family should do, and that is be supportive. I like this character, although I really should have drawn her wearing a hijab from the beginning. It was a missed opportunity and I kick myself every time I draw her because of it.
Almost all the characters find themselves at Coffee Star at some point. I am really pushing this non-existing brand.
At the time, an acquaintance I hadn’t spoken to for years called up and asked me if I wanted a small part time teaching gig at a school teaching Scratch for a really nice sum. Instead of happy, I felt incredibly anxious and overwhelmed and worried tremendously about it. I did it, it wasn’t that bad, but when good fortune happens it really scares the crap out of me. It makes me sink into a deep blue spell. What people think of me has got to be awful.
This comic also features the sister, who has turned out to be a really good model for a listener. She just listens, doesn’t judge, and it seems to me that she always loves her brother. She’s a good example of what family should do, and that is be supportive. I like this character, although I really should have drawn her wearing a hijab from the beginning. It was a missed opportunity and I kick myself every time I draw her because of it.
Almost all the characters find themselves at Coffee Star at some point. I am really pushing this non-existing brand.
I too get that feeling of dread sometimes. As if when something good happens that means something bad is going to happen to cancel out that good feeling.
I think sometimes it’s not fully believing that it will last or that it will end in a way that taints anything that good about it in the first place…
By frame two, I let out a big, “Awwwww!” After having the message hit so close to home.
This is good, Clay. Light-hearted & humorous while nailing an essential truth; not being able to enjoy the good stuff. It isn’t a conscious decision, you just feel bad.
Hell, in a lot of ways this is the toughest part, because if things in your life are going to Shitville, it’s “reasonable” to be depressed and/or it’s easier for others to understand. No one gets it when everything is going your way, but it doesn’t matter and you still feel like crap.
But of course logic and reasonableness don’t have any part in it, because it IS a disease.
Charles Schulz was the master of comics about depression, and it is him I look to for influence. His comics about depression were dark, but because they were about Charlie Brown, they had a lightheartedness that made the message palatable. This strip from 1959, is genius and it still applies today:
I used to love Peanuts when I was a kid, and reading them again as an adult I find that Schulz had a keen understanding of depression underneath the whimsy of the strip. It’s something I try to aim for as well, but Schulz really was the master.
So true. For me, whenever I am in a good mood it feels only temporary. It always goes away at some point. I sometimes wish that I could not have any good days, because the good days make my normal days feel even worse.
I really liked the depressed characters comment in the last panel. Just the right amount of humor to lighten a dark topic.
Well TBH there are a lot of non-depressed people using that line from the last panel.
I find myself shying away from feeling good because I know I will begin the “you’re a fraud” self-talk down the line. My hope is that it will change with enough therapy and enough work on my own, but for now…
Damn it. Why does have to be so true.
I always think of the sister as Mónica, as it means adviser or counselor and it really seems to fit her role in relation to her brother.
I’ve had really good things send me spiraling down hard before. When I finally left my abusive, neglectful parents I hit a bad enough episode to put me in the hospital.
Why does the main character in this strip look exactly like my school psychiatrist???
It makes me slightly uneasy???
How can someone capture someone else so beautifully – thank you Clay