Commentary from February 12, 2017
This strip goes back to a character who has problems having her illness being taken seriously because her appearance does not fit the part. I didn’t come out and say it as direct as I should last time, but it needs to be said. If you don’t fit the stereotype of a depressed person, you are often overlooked. And with depression being a primarily mental illness rather than one with obvious physical manifestations, people tend to look for physicality in things that actually don’t matter, for example, taking care of one’s personal appearance or one’s “success” in life.
This strip was a bit difficult for readers as I think there’s a lot for readers to figure out on their own. Not showing her actually changing made it challenging for readers to understand what she was doing in the washroom, and I’m sure there were readers who thought the woman in panels 1 and 2 were different people. Perhaps 4 panels aren’t enough to get the idea across. But it did start conversation and I even got a “fuck you” because showing high-functioning depression sufferers can be offensive to low-functioning depression sufferers (ironically, the point of the comic was that sufferers often get their illness dismissed if they appear to be high-functioning).
This strip was a bit difficult for readers as I think there’s a lot for readers to figure out on their own. Not showing her actually changing made it challenging for readers to understand what she was doing in the washroom, and I’m sure there were readers who thought the woman in panels 1 and 2 were different people. Perhaps 4 panels aren’t enough to get the idea across. But it did start conversation and I even got a “fuck you” because showing high-functioning depression sufferers can be offensive to low-functioning depression sufferers (ironically, the point of the comic was that sufferers often get their illness dismissed if they appear to be high-functioning).
Ugly truth.
See no illness, speak no illness, hear no illness.
I spent 40 years as a high-functioning depressed person. No energy, unable to maintain a project til completion on my own. Now I’m finally on Citalopram since July. Took me that long to convince someone I was depressed.
It isn’t just appearance. I couldn’t possibly be depressed, because I was so smart. I got brushed off–or even punished–by adults I should have been able to trust so many times as a child struggling to articulate what was going on inside me that by the time I got to suicidal ideation I just…didn’t tell anybody. Because I was very articulate for my age about topics that existed in books I was allowed to read, I had a high IQ, and I won prizes, obvs. there was nothing wrong with me that a little WILL POWAH couldn’t fix.
And if I kept on having the problem it was obvs. a character flaw.
So there I was, all alone in my weirdness, stubbornly not enjoying being so bright and not being social and so forth when they kept telling me how I should. I made the daily decision to live, for years, because fuck ’em.
Whoa. I could’ve written your letter. My experience exactly.
It’s mind-boggling, isn’t it, the conclusions some people come to. You’re smart / beautiful / rich / whatever, so you can’t be depressed, therefore you’re just being a jerk. Yeah, talk about flawed reasoning.
Same experience, nice to hear I’m not alone 🙂
Yep.. i had to really work to get my doctor to understand that in my case, make-up/etc. is a mask of sort.. no makeup = no leaving home 😛
silly doctors think everyone shows signs of depression in exactly the same way <3 that's why it is incredibly easy to notice who has it and who doesnt! ….. :'P
Ouch… I can’t Decide if that is worse or the “you don’t look depressed”
This is the way it is at the local Veterans Administration; smile at the wrong time and they accuse you of only seeking drugs and then send you on your way. Many fellow vets have been trying to get mental health care for years and have received little or none. I tell them to go where I go in the civilian world so they can take the lead in their care like I do, no role-playing required. They don’t listen, sadly.
I’ve been to two doctors lately for other health concerns and have truthfully marked down that I also feel very depressed and have had suicidal thoughts.
Neither of them has brought it up at all. I guess I’ll need to remember it next time they’re talking me through how I need to exercise more.
…is it awful I’d initially thought she was cutting in the bathroom and wore the hoodie to hide it?
It really is very silly. If you’re a woman and your makeup looks good for example youre clearly not depressed enough. Go home and do your makeup like a little 5 year old child did your makeup and go back and see the doc. Leave stains on your clothes, dont hold coherent conversation and better yet look sleepy. Apparently I can get a job as a car cleaner if I wanted simply because I sdvised one of the admin staff at my surgery with a nosebleed not to tilt his head and pinch the soft part of his nose. Doc says Im intelligent so no more sick notes for me! This was last year. Thank god. Getting sick notes are hell
Am currently on higher rate ESA. Took a major breakdown to get some extra help! Thats the sadness of it. Usually it takes a hectic cry for help before you get any proper first party sectors involved otherwise youre not a priority. The irony is that some of the people who are supposed to help us are attached to the same stigma that we are trying to fight against!
It’s not just mental illness that has that issue. Mom’s still upset about Grandma going to a hospital over a weekend instead of waiting for a doctor appointment. She was the”never go ANYWHERE not made up and dressed nicely. Nobody thought she was sick enough to need a doctor since she looked nice, so she had to wait much longer than any other patient before being seen. The cancer killed her about a year later.
It would be interesting to explore this further- why people assume that people who look a certain way can’t be a certain way. And it’s true. I struggle to understand myself how/why a good looking guy can be depressed. I know it’s wrong to think this, but it’s hard not to.
There’s a name for this, it’s called the “Halo Effect”: a bias in which we tend to believe other unrelated traits about something are positive when we see one thing that is positive: for example, an attractive person may be seen as more intelligent, successful, or healthy even if there is no evidence for it.
Yeah, it must be so hard to have to pretend to look like me. This is so fucking offensive. But obviously you are all so “depressed”, but still get to be super functional. And if I am unwilling to look perfect every time I leave the house I am a disgusting slob that’s unfit for your society. But nah, I am faking it, obviously. I am just lazy. I just don’t know how to take care of myself. I deserve to be hated and excluded and forced into isolation. And I deserve to kill myself because I am not perfect like you. Well, fuck you.
Although I sympathize with your situation, “my depression is worse than your depression” tirades are what’s offensive. Anyone can have depression and what you’re doing: “if you look good your depression isn’t that bad” is the kind of discrimination this step is rallying against. Everyone’s depression is painful to the person involved and people’s pain is not something to compare.
i once tried to seek help.
was told to fill in a form. the shrink then looked through it and told me i wasn’t suicidal enough to be prioritized.
which meant there would be a slight possibility of getting an appointment at a later date.
but i never got the letter,and nobody called when i failed to show up at the appointment i was given over a month later.
so i gave up.
so-called “professionals” obviously don’t care, is what i thought.
now i know i was wrong about that, it’s obviously the lack of money that forces them to prioritize.
though a phone call to set up an appointment would be nice. sending letters has a tendency to not work for some depressed people.
so to be taken seriously i need to cover myself in countless scares, exposed flesh and bones, blown up eye sockets, rope markings around my neck, exposed neck veins, role play being paralyzed, remove my arms skin and my feet both, break some bones, and remove some teeth, get rid of an ear drum and a kidney, remove half of my stomach, close my bladder, and remove a lung, take out a quarter of my brain, and remove my nose, tear my lips and cut half of my tongue, break my shoulder and dismember the shoulder plate, remove one full gallon of blood to make sure my skin color becomes pale or yellow, make sure my urine’s color is red and make sure my eye tears are blood.
will that be enough to convince people i am in a trouble? or will they automatically call me a zombie? i wonder
I’ve learned that, sometimes when you look like you’ve been kicked to the curb, you also look like someone who about to get kicked to the curb. Sometimes “you have to dress like you’re important” comes into play.
There’s a Sergio Aragones long-strip about a beggar who meets someone who instead cleans him up and gives him a job interview. The beggar continues interviewing with no success, eventually going back to begging in his fancy new clothes. It isn’t until panels later, after his suit looks like the rags he originally wore, does he get someone to give a coin.
-=PakoPako=-