Commentary from November 17, 2016
This is actual hate mail I received around the time I did this. I tried to keep it as word for word as possible, because hate mail is really hard to fake. If you do a blog on depression, or write a post on a forum about your depression, these kinds of responses happen quite often. They’re usually from people who are in pain themselves which is always kind of ironic. Over the last five years I have gotten so many of these they are just water off a duck’s back but if you’re starting out these hate mails can hurt motivation quite a bit. I think all voices are important when we talk about depression, but not if they are intended to hurt or silence other people. I will get more hate mail in the future, so this is a problem that is not easy to solve.
In fairness, I don’t think the original sender was a happy person. Happy people don’t send messages calling complete strangers assholes for doing nothing to them. I think there’s another type of person who would: the person who believes that they should be happy, that everyone should be happy, but deep down, they are unhappy. This is the kind of person who would likely lash out at someone for being unhappy for disrupting their world view, unaware that they are really suffering similarly. Seeing their own unhappiness in others makes them way too uncomfortable. But as this mail is anonymous, this is only guesstimation.
Figuring out how to show this took a bit of thinking, it was originally going to be two people talking about the mail but it made for a crowded strip because there is so much dialogue. I’m also struggling to draw this character, but I will get it right someday.
In fairness, I don’t think the original sender was a happy person. Happy people don’t send messages calling complete strangers assholes for doing nothing to them. I think there’s another type of person who would: the person who believes that they should be happy, that everyone should be happy, but deep down, they are unhappy. This is the kind of person who would likely lash out at someone for being unhappy for disrupting their world view, unaware that they are really suffering similarly. Seeing their own unhappiness in others makes them way too uncomfortable. But as this mail is anonymous, this is only guesstimation.
Figuring out how to show this took a bit of thinking, it was originally going to be two people talking about the mail but it made for a crowded strip because there is so much dialogue. I’m also struggling to draw this character, but I will get it right someday.
Because apparently depressed and mentally ill people should be hiding in dark corners and not seen or heard from. 🙁
This is actual hate mail I received.
That is… *sigh* I was reading this comic before I realized I was suffering from depression and anxiety (or at least before they kicked up to a level that started impacting me to a much greater extent). I truly appreciate this comic and what you’re doing here.
That someone is so scared of having depression and anxiety brought into the light says something about them and their own fears and inner demons.
Thank you. For everything you’re drawn. For everything you’ve shown. I’m sure you’ve heard this a hundred times.
But thank you.
I suspected as much. I wish I had been wrong. But to quote Jaime Tworkowski (of To Write Love On Her Arms) : Your story is important.
You and he are probably two of the loudest writers I had to pull me through some dark times. So thank you, and please remember us readers who you have brought comfort. Remember that you are the furthest thing from a killjoy.
I wonder if people are so stupid is because Depression isn’t generally like they show it on television. So, like heart attacks, they don’t recognize it as what it is.
Here is the link, i forgot to include it http://depressioncomix.tumblr.com/post/148313517437/why-you-trying-to-show-depression-as-a-good-thing . It’s practically word for word except I changed Tumblr to blogger and I fixed up the spelling mistake.
This makes me sad. How anyone can read depcom and think it glamorizes mental illness is beyond my understanding. They are either not very smart or they are trolling.
And regarding the third panel, yes as matter of fact I do hate happy people. I used to merely find them annoying, but exposure to too much stuff like this just pushed over the line.
In fairness, I don’t think the sender was a happy person. Happy people don’t send messages calling complete strangers assholes for doing nothing to them. I think there’s another type of person who would: the person who believes that they should be happy, that everyone should be happy, but deep down, they are unhappy. This is the kind of person who would likely lash out at someone for being unhappy for disrupting their world view, unaware that they are really suffering similarly. Seeing their own unhappiness in others makes them way too uncomfortable.
I think you are right. I have had an attitude problem for a long time and it makes come off like an asshole. Now that my meds are starting to work I will have to work on improving my attitude.
It’s ironic that anyone would think this comic presents depression as a positive thing. Frankly what I appreciate about the comic is its almost brutal honesty about the effects of a serious illness. In most of them I recognize something I went through myself.
I never actually hated happy people, but I did find them irritating, and thought they must be extremely naive and shallow. After all, how could any intelligent, perceptive person pretend to be happy with a huge dark shadow hanging over the world?
And yet with most other personal problems we are told to get it out in the open and talk about it. But with any type of mental illness it becomes taboo to speak of it around normal people. I really hate double standards.
Dear Clay,
They have their shoulders firmly affixed to their buttocks. That’s why the only see rainbows and unicorns.
Love,
Dee Tak
Yeah, the world would be such a better place if we could just stop talking about anything even vaguely unpleasant.
That’s the paradox of Internet: on one hand, it helps people with similar interests to connect, but in the other hand, you get to taste the medecine of the unsavory (and anonymous) trolls that proliferate there.
You get to see the best and the worst of humanity, but somehow the worst seems to stick out more… Which is depressing, so there we go full circle.
Happiness is mandatory. Smile or die.
Wow, you managed to turn that incovenience into a strip. Very Subtle use of the 4th wall through a character.
This isn’t the first time I’ve used hate mail in a strip. It gives me the opportunity to address what seems to be common ideas about people with depression. Mind you, I don’t think a happy person would write such a mail, and they are probably suffering themselves, and needed to lash out at someone because they don’t understand themselves. Speculation, but I can’t imagine happy people actually taking the time to call a complete stranger an asshole.
Happy people hurt on the inside too but they are afraid to show it. Thanks for posting what others are afraid to show.
It’s like a spectrum: on one end you have the people who are all “Have you tried yoga? 😀 ” and on the other end you have this kind of crap.
They all want us not to be depressed, not because they want depression to go extinct like smallpox, but because they want us to not be around. Because something about depression kicks a hole in their neat little picture of the world.
They’re so used to the celebrities glamorizing they’re depression that they don’t recognize real life struggles. I think your work is amazing. That you use your art to speak to our struggles, is pure talent. Keep doing what you’re doing. It’s needed and appreciated.
9 Steps to Treat Depression Naturally
http://ushealandresearch.us/9-steps-to-treat-depression-naturally/
Another great strip, Clay.
I don’t know whether the person who sent that to you is just a jerk who wants to spread pain, the classic internet hater we all know who feels better putting other people down, for whatever reasons; or so insecure that he or she feels threatened by an honest discussion of the long hard slog known as “depression.” Either way, creating a strip about it is an epic response!
You know, there was a publication written by guys with HIV & AIDS called “Diseased Pariah”. It had a LOT of sarcastic, sardonic gallows humor. Their stuff came under fire from people – none of whom had HIV or AIDS – who thought it was in poor taste, insensitive, etc. The response from the writers was basically “Fuck you, we’re the ones who are dealing with this, and this is how we do it. Oh and by the way, fuck you.” Something along those lines.
So keep up the good work! You articulate – so well – what so many of us “Depressed Pariahs” deal with on a daily basis. A thoughtful reading of your work proves “showing depression as a good thing” is not at all what you do.
Thank you for the kind words. I imagine that people who have problems with others discussing their illnesses are really uncomfortable about something themselves, because if I see something I don’t like on the internet, I just move on, I don’t waste my time sending a hateful mail about it. When people troll, they are obviously doing something for their own personal needs, and it’s not healthy. Trolls and haters are not mentally healthy people. So I try to take that into account when I get feedback from them, and it helps me see it more objectively. Experience helps in this. When I was first doing this messages like that got to me more, and I can really see it making someone just lose their motivation and give up. Nowadays I see it as an opportunity to make better statements on what it’s like to try to talk about depression and become a target yourself.
I’m sorry you’ve had messages like that. I’m thankful every day that the depression I once suffered with no longer drags me down to its depth. I still follow however as much of what you post was once relevant to me and I see it as an important message and opportunity to explore an oft taboo’d aspect of society even now.
Thank you for your great work, Clay. Could you draw something about ways of recovering from depression?
This is a subject matter I won’t touch. As there are many varieties and depths to depression, there are many paths to “recovery”, some effective for others, some not. And I use quotes around “recovery” because there is debate that surrounds the use of that word when it comes to mental disorders.
If you are interested in “recovery” you should see a doctor and get a plan that suitable for your type of depression.
K. I already see a doctor, I wasn’t actually asking for advice via comics. I just thought that it’s great to share common experiences and to see that other people too suffer from the same issues as us, but sometimes maybe it woud also be better to focus on solutions than just keep thinking about all the problems. So in the same way as you show different kinds of depression you could maybe show different ways of getting better. It was just a thought I had.
“better to focus on solutions than just thinking about all the problems”
That doesn’t come off as patronizing at all.
As I said, depression is a medical issue and the only thing I support is going to a doctor. There are many approaches, all with varying effectiveness, and nothing that can be contained in a four panel comic. And the thing is, they are only marginally effective anyways. A lot of people are not going to get better, and by drawing strips where people do get better runs a risk of invalidating their situation. Not drawing their particular intervention in a strip runs the risk of invalidating their own type of intervention. A lot of people can’t afford medical intervention. And the basic thing is, we don’t really know how to recover from depression in the first place.
It’s not a place I’m willing to go. Especially since the core theme of this comic is me trying to draw the experience of depression, to try to find ways to put the experience on paper. This is the challenge I took when I began this comic. If people want to draw their own comic with their own ideas and experiences, that’s great, but this comic is about what it feels like to live with depression.
Depression is a long-term, serious illness that people almost always need help to overcome. However, it also tends to make you reject help. It robs you of hope, so that you “know” (i.e. feel very strongly) that you will never get better. That tends to make you cynical of those who want to help you, so that even sincere offers of help seem patronizing. Anyone saying that you can get better sounds extremely naive, especially if they’ve never been depressed themselves. Depression also robs you of all feelings of accomplishment and satisfaction, so that even if you take positive steps to recover it doesn’t feel like you’ve done anything useful.
It’s a vicious cycle, one that’s extremely hard to break. I was stuck in that Hell for five years, and needed professional help for most of a year before I was able to effectively resist it. While I don’t know whether depression ever entirely goes away, it’s possible to control it enough to make life worth living. Rejecting all offers of help will not get you there.
I didn’t mean to “patronize” and I surely didn’t mean anything offensive with my comment. Sorry if it bothered you. I understand your concern about drawing “recovery”, I was just curious about your opinion about it.
Just found my way to your comic through Empathize This’s Twitter feed. I’m sorry you have to deal with these unsympathetic cowards who hide behind anonymity to spew their bile. It’s enough of a challenge just to make a comic on a regular basis, and to bare your soul the way that you do. Despite their words, I’m glad there are people like you who are brave enough to make comics like these, to show people who suffer from depression that they aren’t alone, that there are people who understand and experience what they’re going through. Having recently experienced the *exact* feelings/situation you so perfectly depicted in #301, I think it’s a balm simply to discover that someone else knows what it’s like.
Also, I really like your art style.