Commentary from Published July 21, 2016
Recent Wren strips have shown her to be almost unnaturally understanding of the hoops Robin puts her through, but I thought it would be important to show that Wren is still a human being who does have chips in her armor.
Wren’s position in the strip was suggested to me by my friend Umi who recommended instead of only showing the negativity within relationships with depressed people that I have a kind of role model, someone who can show what a positive relationship can look like. Unfortunately I think I erred too much, because such people are actually quite rare.
So what I wanted to see was a Wren who was supportive but still acknowledges her own feelings. The actions of depressed people can sometimes hurt us unintentionally, even when we understand on some rational level that it is not the person but the illness. That knowledge does nothing for the pain, however.
I hope that now Wren will become a better model, as it is important to be supportive yet still acknowledging your own pain. The support sometimes needs support too. This isn’t to detract from the suffering of the depressed individual, but understand that people who support and give care to sufferers need a hand too. It ain’t easy.
On the art side, it’s really difficult to make these self-narrative strips interesting. I do try to stop this strip from being a series of talking heads and I need to try for more variation in the camera angles used.
Wren’s position in the strip was suggested to me by my friend Umi who recommended instead of only showing the negativity within relationships with depressed people that I have a kind of role model, someone who can show what a positive relationship can look like. Unfortunately I think I erred too much, because such people are actually quite rare.
So what I wanted to see was a Wren who was supportive but still acknowledges her own feelings. The actions of depressed people can sometimes hurt us unintentionally, even when we understand on some rational level that it is not the person but the illness. That knowledge does nothing for the pain, however.
I hope that now Wren will become a better model, as it is important to be supportive yet still acknowledging your own pain. The support sometimes needs support too. This isn’t to detract from the suffering of the depressed individual, but understand that people who support and give care to sufferers need a hand too. It ain’t easy.
On the art side, it’s really difficult to make these self-narrative strips interesting. I do try to stop this strip from being a series of talking heads and I need to try for more variation in the camera angles used.
Yes.
Yup… Sometimes the support, sometimes the supported.
I love the freckled woman. She’s been so awesome and loving to her depressed partner as you craft their story, Clay. It’s great that you show her struggles too, and it’s absolutely completely right.
I’ve been on both sides of this equation. As a support person I know how much you want something back from the depressed one, and as the depressed person I know that so often there just isn’t anything you’ve got to give.
I don’t have any easy solutions, but I’m grateful that you articulate these things, Clay. It’s helpful in and of itself. I’m hard pressed to think of anyone who does it in this way as well as you do. It’s an incredible gift to many of us. Thank you.
What I regret not showing in this strip is that every relationship holds struggles, not just ones in which a partner also provides support. There are very few (if at all) perfect relationships and every one has its challenges. Understanding helps overcome some of these challenges, I think.
Been there.
I am fortunately well enough that my partners can ask me to muscle through a specific thing, an event or their cold or whatever, and I can find a secret reserve that only exists when asked for by them. Though it can’t last long, and it hurts like hell and tears me up. It’s good to have the option, and it’s good not to overuse it.
Everyone’s suffering is different. I feel for my neurodivergent siblings. I wish you all well.
My SO of almost 9 years has bipolar II, so we’re both struggling and supporting each other. Some days are bad, like when we’re both in depressive states. Sometimes I envy his hypomania because it enables him to pour all his energy into creative projects. Sometimes he doesn’t understand that I don’t really get breaks in my depression (I have dysthymia). But it’s amazing to have someone that GETS IT.
Someone told me once to keep calling her and leaving messages but she said she would NEVER call me back. As someone with depression myself i found that a hard pill to swallow.
I have very severe panic attacks with agoraphobia plus my depression but I have noticed that it helps if someone that understands escorts me to events and if my limits are respected and it’s accepted that I already made a huge effort to be there and maybe can’t be for too long, that people won’t be sad because I left early, but happy that I successfully appeared.
On this scenario if it was my partner and a friend could escort me so my partner wasn’t burdened with having to give my anxieties attention (the night SHOULD be all about her! It’s her show!) I would totally give it a go. Because of course it’s important to her even if it freaks me out badly.
This is in no way passing judgment of the depressed character. I’m only sharing what happens to me in hope it may be useful to someone. YMMV and all that.