THIS. So I’m not the only one, right? When you’re at the point of recovery where you’re doing better, it’s hard to go all the way when you have other just as depressed people. Getting better is good, you know that. But you also don’t want to just leave behind the others. But you’re well aware that to take care of yourself, you need to just… not take care of others. And choosing between yourself and those others can absolutely horrible.
I’m a recovering depressive and I know this feeling quite well. But remember, when the option to choose first arrives at you, no matter how anxiety-ridden it is, it is still a sign of recovery. It has its costs but then again, nothing is ever easy. Most especially for the depressed.
And then there are those who seem to be determined to drag you down with them…refusing any and all help…hurting you emotionally,physically,financially…threatening to kill themselves every other week…hurting themselves so you must take care of them…I’ve got one of those right now…Helped and supported him for ten fucking years…Nothing I do is good enough…He blames me for everything because I’m the only one he has left to blame…I will probably have to try to get him committed if I want to get out of this alive…I have failed him and I am sorry…I can’t take much more…
Breaking free of depression is not selfish. The best way to help others out of the pit is not to stay in it with them. You need to climb out and establish your footing before you can safely throw them a rope.
There might be more ropes thrown in if people who have never been stuck in the pit would admit that it exists, and if those who are in it would admit that they’re stuck. You can’t solve a problem you refuse to acknowledge.
Agarax, the first paragraph of that comment especially, is, to me, a really good metaphor. It makes sense to me. There is of course always the risk that they won’t accept the rope you throw them from your well-established footing at the top. Or that they won’t make it all the way to the top to join you. But if you’re still halfway down the pit yourself and you’re throwing them a rope, it’s not nearly as likely to be a successful rescue as it would be once you’re out and have established your footing. There’s a higher chance of you being pulled back down to the bottom. It’s a risk and a choice. Each has potential costs and benefits to both parties.
I’ve had to distance myself from a friend. I felt guilty for doing it, but it was the right thing to do. I wanted help, and she wasn’t interested in getting it for herself.(at the time. I think she’s getting help now, but there are painful memories. I’m afraid of her dragging me down again.)
This hits very close to me right now. I’ve been going through a deep episode that’s been going on a month now.. I want to get counseling for myself but can’t afford it. Every day interacting with my spouse makes me want to kill myself. She’s not a bad person, yet somehow still makes me feel worthless. She hasn’t shown any physical affection towards me in months but is upset that I’ve become distant, angry, and haven’t given her any physical affection. I’m on the verge of filing for divorce because it’s the only thing I can see to climb out of that hole… And god do I want to climb…
This saying helps remind me to keep a balance between protecting my own mental health versus exhausting my resources on others, “I do not have to set myself on fire to keep you warm”. Sometimes Depression leaves me feeling guilty and struggling to draw a healthy line, but that doesn’t mean it’s selfish.
THIS. So I’m not the only one, right?
When you’re at the point of recovery where you’re doing better, it’s hard to go all the way when you have other just as depressed people. Getting better is good, you know that. But you also don’t want to just leave behind the others. But you’re well aware that to take care of yourself, you need to just… not take care of others.
And choosing between yourself and those others can absolutely horrible.
I’m a recovering depressive and I know this feeling quite well. But remember, when the option to choose first arrives at you, no matter how anxiety-ridden it is, it is still a sign of recovery. It has its costs but then again, nothing is ever easy. Most especially for the depressed.
SO DAMN TRUE!!! http://t.co/LPM0SKtyTb via @depressioncomix
Fuck this one hits home hard.
This hits home hard http://t.co/OLrBn6JENI via @depressioncomix
I always try to take as many hands as I can to help people crawling up too. Even if it makes me go down a little.
And then there are those who seem to be determined to drag you down with them…refusing any and all help…hurting you emotionally,physically,financially…threatening to kill themselves every other week…hurting themselves so you must take care of them…I’ve got one of those right now…Helped and supported him for ten fucking years…Nothing I do is good enough…He blames me for everything because I’m the only one he has left to blame…I will probably have to try to get him committed if I want to get out of this alive…I have failed him and I am sorry…I can’t take much more…
but…. http://t.co/V983GxBgOK
Breaking free of depression is not selfish. The best way to help others out of the pit is not to stay in it with them. You need to climb out and establish your footing before you can safely throw them a rope.
There might be more ropes thrown in if people who have never been stuck in the pit would admit that it exists, and if those who are in it would admit that they’re stuck. You can’t solve a problem you refuse to acknowledge.
Agarax, the first paragraph of that comment especially, is, to me, a really good metaphor. It makes sense to me. There is of course always the risk that they won’t accept the rope you throw them from your well-established footing at the top. Or that they won’t make it all the way to the top to join you. But if you’re still halfway down the pit yourself and you’re throwing them a rope, it’s not nearly as likely to be a successful rescue as it would be once you’re out and have established your footing. There’s a higher chance of you being pulled back down to the bottom. It’s a risk and a choice. Each has potential costs and benefits to both parties.
217 http://t.co/ScUrV1Fm7W
The Crab Bucket effect. Works for far too many negative situations.
The most scary part of crawling out of the “pit” http://t.co/sFLG3dCXD8 via @depressioncomix #depressionawareness
217 http://t.co/xSMS8EsAqE via @depressioncomix
http://t.co/vnVgyUz3C9
I like these comix strips a lot… really touch ob exactly how it feels. http://t.co/0g6HmWBqAH
I’ve had to distance myself from a friend. I felt guilty for doing it, but it was the right thing to do. I wanted help, and she wasn’t interested in getting it for herself.(at the time. I think she’s getting help now, but there are painful memories. I’m afraid of her dragging me down again.)
This hits very close to me right now. I’ve been going through a deep episode that’s been going on a month now.. I want to get counseling for myself but can’t afford it. Every day interacting with my spouse makes me want to kill myself. She’s not a bad person, yet somehow still makes me feel worthless. She hasn’t shown any physical affection towards me in months but is upset that I’ve become distant, angry, and haven’t given her any physical affection. I’m on the verge of filing for divorce because it’s the only thing I can see to climb out of that hole… And god do I want to climb…
This saying helps remind me to keep a balance between protecting my own mental health versus exhausting my resources on others, “I do not have to set myself on fire to keep you warm”. Sometimes Depression leaves me feeling guilty and struggling to draw a healthy line, but that doesn’t mean it’s selfish.