pressure it and you’ll explode, release it you’ll regret it even more, share it and you’ll curse yourself to no end….. hide it and you’ll suffer for sure but at least others won’t worry anymore …. it’s a war without a winner
I can relate to this comic so much. Every time I open my mouth and tell someone about my feelings, I feel guilty right after. Especially if the person is empathetic: my lover always feel sad (doesn’t help that he has depression as well) after I tell him about my honest feelings. Luckily, we always get back on our feet somehow but I’m extremely guilty by dragging him down.
I was recently in the hospital and one of the things I have been repeating to myself lately is “you are not a mind reader, neither are your friends. You have to tell them what is going on so they can help. You don’t know what they are thinking unless you ASK. SO JUST ASK!”
I have been putting this into practice when I talk about how I’m feeling by asking “how does that make you feel? Do you have any questions for me that I can try to answer about my bipolar, the subsequent depression it caused? About my self harm, anxiety issues, or any of my other health issues, mental or physical. You are my friend/loved one and these things affect you too so please feel free to ask me any questions you have. The only way we can help each other is by talking about how me are feeling.”
It’s a little hard to expose yourself and lay everything out on the table, but it’s also kind of liberating. And of course this is only for My SUPER close friends (I only have a few) and my fiance, everyone else is free to ask whatever they want and I will answer but I don’t offer up the information. Even when strangers ask about my scars I will tell them how they got there and I’m open and honest to anyone who wants to know more about anything. I feel like it might give them strength to deal with loved ones that might be going through something similar (or even let them know they themselves are not alone), and at the very least I feel like I’m breaking down walls of stigma and ignorance when it comes to mental illness.
It’s a strange kind of drift; when I started depression comix I tried very hard to do a strip that looked nothing like my own personal drawing style, using thick brushes in small spaces to try and get a newspaper comic look. Since then, my own personal drawing style has crept back in and now it looks a lot more like my previous comics. However, I’ve been careful to keep stylistic adjustments that I had in the beginning, for example, the bulbous noses and small eyes, to keep the anime/manga influences out of it.
I’ve been on both sides. When I’ve listened to someone’s problems, I usually feel sympathy and concern for that person, glad that they’re asking for help, and flattered that they trusted me. It’s never ruined my day, especially if it’s someone I care about.
However, when I’m telling my problems to someone, I’m always afraid I’m ruining their day.
Differently, yes… but unless they’re doing it all the time and feeling it’s not helping you, I still think it’s a good thing to talk some with friends when things are rough. Just, it can get tiring, so it’s best to try and not abuse your friends’ kind listening, either.
I feel this way when I talk about what weighs me down, so I don’t even bother talking about it. It’s stressful when someone asks me how I’m doing. It’s a trap! It’s like, I can tell someone what I’m going through, and lose them as a friend because they’ll avoid me for being a “bummer,” or I can avoid THEM so as not to give them the wrong impression of me; either way, depression makes the world so much smaller as a result.
Every. Fucking. Single. Time I just don’t want to tell it to anybody, but in the other hand this kind of void just try to eat me and whenever i feel good is just because the void don’t found me tasty for it.
Oh my gosh.. Me.. Every freaking time I try to talk about it.. They always say it’s ok, they’re listening, but so many ppl have left that I feel guilty anyways so I just stop talking. Been reading these for a bit now.. I’ll admit, many are very hard to read.. But do relieving to know I’m not alone and I truly appreciate how u word the things many of us struggle so hard to say. Thank u ?
at least that was a nice close up to her face! we always see her with just simplified normal drawing, but pretty much yes you instantly regret all the bullshit your mouth just shat … shit ….
Bottle it up and it explodes. Let it all out and you feel worse anyway (just in a different way.)
It feels like you just can’t win.
pressure it and you’ll explode, release it you’ll regret it even more, share it and you’ll curse yourself to no end…..
hide it and you’ll suffer for sure but at least others won’t worry anymore …. it’s a war without a winner
Depends on the person that you let it out. That’s why you have to know that person before making that choice.
Agreed with Alex.
I can relate to this comic so much. Every time I open my mouth and tell someone about my feelings, I feel guilty right after. Especially if the person is empathetic: my lover always feel sad (doesn’t help that he has depression as well) after I tell him about my honest feelings. Luckily, we always get back on our feet somehow but I’m extremely guilty by dragging him down.
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay.”
Thinks to self, “great now I ruined their day.”
Rinse & repeat.
I was recently in the hospital and one of the things I have been repeating to myself lately is “you are not a mind reader, neither are your friends. You have to tell them what is going on so they can help. You don’t know what they are thinking unless you ASK. SO JUST ASK!”
I have been putting this into practice when I talk about how I’m feeling by asking “how does that make you feel? Do you have any questions for me that I can try to answer about my bipolar, the subsequent depression it caused? About my self harm, anxiety issues, or any of my other health issues, mental or physical. You are my friend/loved one and these things affect you too so please feel free to ask me any questions you have. The only way we can help each other is by talking about how me are feeling.”
It’s a little hard to expose yourself and lay everything out on the table, but it’s also kind of liberating. And of course this is only for My SUPER close friends (I only have a few) and my fiance, everyone else is free to ask whatever they want and I will answer but I don’t offer up the information. Even when strangers ask about my scars I will tell them how they got there and I’m open and honest to anyone who wants to know more about anything. I feel like it might give them strength to deal with loved ones that might be going through something similar (or even let them know they themselves are not alone), and at the very least I feel like I’m breaking down walls of stigma and ignorance when it comes to mental illness.
This is why I stopped talking to people, even my closest friends. It seems no good would come of it.
Asking how they feel about it in return is a good idea, thank you Julia.
It’s always amazing to see how much your art has changed in the last year and a half(?)
It’s a strange kind of drift; when I started depression comix I tried very hard to do a strip that looked nothing like my own personal drawing style, using thick brushes in small spaces to try and get a newspaper comic look. Since then, my own personal drawing style has crept back in and now it looks a lot more like my previous comics. However, I’ve been careful to keep stylistic adjustments that I had in the beginning, for example, the bulbous noses and small eyes, to keep the anime/manga influences out of it.
I’ve been on both sides. When I’ve listened to someone’s problems, I usually feel sympathy and concern for that person, glad that they’re asking for help, and flattered that they trusted me. It’s never ruined my day, especially if it’s someone I care about.
However, when I’m telling my problems to someone, I’m always afraid I’m ruining their day.
I can relate. Every person you tell thinks less of you and treats you differently. There are no exceptions.
Differently, yes… but unless they’re doing it all the time and feeling it’s not helping you, I still think it’s a good thing to talk some with friends when things are rough. Just, it can get tiring, so it’s best to try and not abuse your friends’ kind listening, either.
I’ve begun to seriously worry that I’m depressing my therapist by telling her how I feel.
I feel bad for laughing at that.
Self sabotage. Oh so true
I feel this way when I talk about what weighs me down, so I don’t even bother talking about it. It’s stressful when someone asks me how I’m doing.
It’s a trap! It’s like, I can tell someone what I’m going through, and lose them as a friend because they’ll avoid me for being a “bummer,” or I can avoid THEM so as not to give them the wrong impression of me; either way, depression makes the world so much smaller as a result.
Courtney: I’ve been in that “trap” too. *strong empathy*
Every. Fucking. Single. Time
I just don’t want to tell it to anybody, but in the other hand this kind of void just try to eat me and whenever i feel good is just because the void don’t found me tasty for it.
Oh my gosh.. Me.. Every freaking time I try to talk about it.. They always say it’s ok, they’re listening, but so many ppl have left that I feel guilty anyways so I just stop talking.
Been reading these for a bit now.. I’ll admit, many are very hard to read.. But do relieving to know I’m not alone and I truly appreciate how u word the things many of us struggle so hard to say.
Thank u ?
at least that was a nice close up to her face! we always see her with just simplified normal drawing, but pretty much yes you instantly regret all the bullshit your mouth just shat … shit ….
That’s something I deal with a lot. I’m a really vent-y person.
What ended up working for me was finding people who can listen to my vents, and also vent to me. We both get the relief and it feels fairer.