Commentary from September 10, 2013
This has a lot to do with my current situation at work. I’m in a bad sort of a bind and I cannot do anything, but every one is telling me not to worry. Good luck with that. That’s like telling me not to breathe.
Commentary from October 18, 2013
OK, looking at the commentary now I think it’s hilarious because I had every reason to be worried, I had the feeling I was getting replaced at work and sure enough I found out I was soon after. Gut feelings exist for a reason.
Ah, anxiety – the beloved other side of the same coin.
Hoo boy. This one hits close to home.
A personal plight on the side of the companion is reflected here – intent and form are meaningless when the actual interperetation is inevitably bastardized from a message of compassion and comfort into a vessel for self-reflection and doubt. As has been said before…I want to help…I just don’t know how without makingit worse.
A compassionate boss once lived up to her name, becoming the Sun in my life back then.
It was the most trivial thing, I’d made a mistake, which was only slightly bad because of formalities, but nothing that couldn’t be easily fixed.
Except I wasn’t in a state of mind that allowed for thinking that it was anything other than the best ever reason why I deserved to die.
But she mitigated a serious lot of the damage by taking on some of the fault herself.
Simply saying it was partly her fault because she hadn’t followed up on my work closely enough, was all it took to make me feel so loved and appreciated.
She didn’t tell me not to worry, but instead helped direct my worry into constructive action.
And that experience helped me get through an even harder bout which I experienced around a year later.
Some proof I could cling to that people aren’t judging me as a person when they criticize, they’re just telling me how I could do even better.
I’ll still cry when I think about it, because it was that important to me.
Would possibly not be alive if not for her.