It’s refreshing to see the sympathetic voice in the first part. I think I’m getting pretty well clued-in on what not to say to people, but the options of things that are more helpful is tough to narrow down. I just try to let basic compassion and empathy guide me, and hope that my inner Jackass won’t rear his head…
This, ever so much. The biggest issue I face in trying to help my love is finding a way to communicate without inadvertently setting off a series of triggers.
This hits for me. I have/am dealing with some major depression, basically for as long as I can remember. Only within the last few years have I recognized it for what it is and gotten help. Lots of major help, ha. And I have friends who I know are suffering from depression, they just won’t go in for help and prefer to self medicate with other things. But it bothers me that I can’t open up to my friends. I have tried to talk about how I feel but am met with, “What are you complaining about? THIS is how my life is….” I realize that this is part of the illness, and I want to help them whenever I can. It just sucks that I have to be the strong one all the time for them. My doctor says I should just go out and make new friends, like it is that easy. Maybe someday I can be weak for a while.
Yep. I also get the “Only you can help yourself”s and the “We just don’t know when we’re helping and when we’re enabling”s… which is actually a pretty honest assessment. The problem is… I don’t that either. But it makes me feel like I can’t ask for help, and need to shoulder everything on my own. Regardless of how many times I fail.
if i can’t be sad because you believe you are more sad than i am does that mean i have no right to die because others are already more dead than i am? or i’m not allowed to be happy because others are more happy than i am? …… go to hell
If anyone even your parents says that kind of things to you, run away from those people like from plague. No one has the right to judge your feelings or minimise your problems.
Over the years I have learnt to not speak of my feelings to anyone at all. It’s not that the people I speak to make their own problems seem bigger, but they invariably say the same thing – ” That’s how life is”. I understand everything in life won’t happen my way, but can’t I atleast vent out my frustration and expect a bit of sympathy in return? Seems not. That’s why I’ve completely stopped sharing my feelings with others.
It’s refreshing to see the sympathetic voice in the first part. I think I’m getting pretty well clued-in on what not to say to people, but the options of things that are more helpful is tough to narrow down. I just try to let basic compassion and empathy guide me, and hope that my inner Jackass won’t rear his head…
This, ever so much. The biggest issue I face in trying to help my love is finding a way to communicate without inadvertently setting off a series of triggers.
I feel incredibly lucky that I have a couple of those sympathetic voices. I’m sorry not everyone has someone like that.
This hits for me. I have/am dealing with some major depression, basically for as long as I can remember. Only within the last few years have I recognized it for what it is and gotten help. Lots of major help, ha. And I have friends who I know are suffering from depression, they just won’t go in for help and prefer to self medicate with other things. But it bothers me that I can’t open up to my friends. I have tried to talk about how I feel but am met with, “What are you complaining about? THIS is how my life is….” I realize that this is part of the illness, and I want to help them whenever I can. It just sucks that I have to be the strong one all the time for them. My doctor says I should just go out and make new friends, like it is that easy. Maybe someday I can be weak for a while.
Oh, hi Mom.
With the first person, I would be suspected that he/she will use my words against me 😐
dude my dad does this, he just starts listing off all the awful shit that’s happened to him and I feel so guilty that im nauseous
Yep. I also get the “Only you can help yourself”s and the “We just don’t know when we’re helping and when we’re enabling”s… which is actually a pretty honest assessment. The problem is… I don’t that either. But it makes me feel like I can’t ask for help, and need to shoulder everything on my own. Regardless of how many times I fail.
I don’t *know that either, that is.
if i can’t be sad because you believe you are more sad than i am does that mean i have no right to die because others are already more dead than i am? or i’m not allowed to be happy because others are more happy than i am? …… go to hell
If anyone even your parents says that kind of things to you, run away from those people like from plague. No one has the right to judge your feelings or minimise your problems.
Over the years I have learnt to not speak of my feelings to anyone at all. It’s not that the people I speak to make their own problems seem bigger, but they invariably say the same thing – ” That’s how life is”. I understand everything in life won’t happen my way, but can’t I atleast vent out my frustration and expect a bit of sympathy in return? Seems not. That’s why I’ve completely stopped sharing my feelings with others.
even worse when the one person you want to have that understanding from is so far beyond your reach.