Why I don’t open up to people? My entire childhood was filled with: “You have all these things! (toys, siblings, a home, clothes, food, school, parents, etc) You CAN’T feel so bad with all these things.” “Your ‘depression’ is an embarrassment to the family!” “You HUMILIATED us by going to your school counselor for help instead of talking to US, your parents first!” “How could you do this to us! We were supposed to be together as a family for Easter! The hospital won’t discharge you until after Easter!” “Your brothers and sisters can’t see you in here (referring to the psychiatric ward).” “What’s wrong with you!?” “You’ll never have any friends or get married if you don’t stop with all this feeling sad all the time.”
Why don’t I talk to people? Because like Pavlov’s dogs, I’ve been conditioned NOT to.
That’s the truth. That’s how my family acted when I was a teenager. My depression was all about how it affected them, and never what it was doing to me. Like I deliberately chose to be depressed, just to annoy them!
Parents, if your kid is depressed, this is NOT the tactic to use!
Sadly, this is why none of my family members, apart from my elder brother and one younger sister, know about mine 🙁
I honestly feel like my Mum will call me a liar if I told her, or be hurt that I didn’t tell her straight away (been like 2 to 3 months now), or worry too much, or make her feel like she could have done something if I act on the suicidal thoughts.
I cry and punch things when I think about telling my mum, it’s automatic (crying and punching) and sometimes there aren’t even tears, just whimpering and sobbing. I think it’s worse when you can’t cry, I feel like crying takes away from the pain a little.
I’m scared I have depression, because my mum had it and never got help. I don’t want to tell her how broken I feel.
But I’m not sure I can tough it out because I have my GCSE’s next year. I used to be a bright pupil, but now learning is such a struggle now. I’ve read that on avarage that depression lasts 6 months, and I’m not sure if that’s treated or not. I have 18 months till I take them. I don’t want to let my parents down. I don’t need to become moreof a failure. What should I do.
I scared my friends when I told them that I was pondering opening the door to a moving car and throwing myself out. I admitted it to them because I wanted them to know I didn’t do it, but my own head scared me. They fell silent for .. a long time, and one of them checked in on me for days afterwards. I know it’s scary but I can’t imagine how scary it is for them when I say that I truely wondered what would happen if I did in that moment.
I never opened up before until someone ask me what was wrong.. that was the time i had told someone my depression.. until 3 of my friends know of it.. i’m starting to open up to a few friends i think that would help me.. problem is they can’t.. I don’t want to open up to my family cuz they don’t know what to do plus they will only make me feel worse.. I know tat they are going to tell me.. that in our situation.. they have the right to be the ones who are depress and not me.. and all other crap that people who doesn’t understand depression says..
Why I don’t open up to people?
My entire childhood was filled with:
“You have all these things! (toys, siblings, a home, clothes, food, school, parents, etc) You CAN’T feel so bad with all these things.”
“Your ‘depression’ is an embarrassment to the family!”
“You HUMILIATED us by going to your school counselor for help instead of talking to US, your parents first!”
“How could you do this to us! We were supposed to be together as a family for Easter! The hospital won’t discharge you until after Easter!”
“Your brothers and sisters can’t see you in here (referring to the psychiatric ward).”
“What’s wrong with you!?”
“You’ll never have any friends or get married if you don’t stop with all this feeling sad all the time.”
Why don’t I talk to people? Because like Pavlov’s dogs, I’ve been conditioned NOT to.
That’s the truth. That’s how my family acted when I was a teenager. My depression was all about how it affected them, and never what it was doing to me. Like I deliberately chose to be depressed, just to annoy them!
Parents, if your kid is depressed, this is NOT the tactic to use!
Sadly, this is why none of my family members, apart from my elder brother and one younger sister, know about mine 🙁
I honestly feel like my Mum will call me a liar if I told her, or be hurt that I didn’t tell her straight away (been like 2 to 3 months now), or worry too much, or make her feel like she could have done something if I act on the suicidal thoughts.
I cry and punch things when I think about telling my mum, it’s automatic (crying and punching) and sometimes there aren’t even tears, just whimpering and sobbing. I think it’s worse when you can’t cry, I feel like crying takes away from the pain a little.
I’m scared I have depression, because my mum had it and never got help. I don’t want to tell her how broken I feel.
But I’m not sure I can tough it out because I have my GCSE’s next year. I used to be a bright pupil, but now learning is such a struggle now. I’ve read that on avarage that depression lasts 6 months, and I’m not sure if that’s treated or not. I have 18 months till I take them.
I don’t want to let my parents down. I don’t need to become moreof a failure.
What should I do.
“Get over it!” or “Cut it out, you’re better than this!” were practically the soundtrack of my childhood and adolescence.
so true http://t.co/ITiKNSpEqu
Being berated and told “don’t be so god damn miserable” for having such thoughts is why I don’t.
I scared my friends when I told them that I was pondering opening the door to a moving car and throwing myself out. I admitted it to them because I wanted them to know I didn’t do it, but my own head scared me. They fell silent for .. a long time, and one of them checked in on me for days afterwards. I know it’s scary but I can’t imagine how scary it is for them when I say that I truely wondered what would happen if I did in that moment.
I never opened up before until someone ask me what was wrong.. that was the time i had told someone my depression.. until 3 of my friends know of it.. i’m starting to open up to a few friends i think that would help me.. problem is they can’t.. I don’t want to open up to my family cuz they don’t know what to do plus they will only make me feel worse.. I know tat they are going to tell me.. that in our situation.. they have the right to be the ones who are depress and not me.. and all other crap that people who doesn’t understand depression says..
It truly hits me