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comics and illustrations by clay jonathan

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After Title

Background
In 1999, the local fanart group that I joined decided to make a doujinshi that we would sell at the Artist Alley at Anime North, Toronto. We each had to do a short comic, an illustration for the cover as well as a “fan service” art. This was my short comic contribution.
Commentary from November 9, 2001

I’m not going to get into who this was about, IF it was written about anyone at all. It did make some of my female friends freak out because they thought it was about them.

Because this was planned for printing, there is little computer manipulation of the product, just loads of crosshatching, a habit I have since gotten out of.

The point I like about this, is not that it’s a love letter, but sometimes we are cursed with a beautiful friend who we desire at a distance. There are things we want to say but lack the courage to do it, we drop little hints and because they are so small they get ignored. We all have these kinds of friends, the ones we are closest to yet we are most guarded about our true feelings. To me, this was a message to those I liked from afar, even though I could be only a friend. And with this comic, I said how I felt, and that was it, the feelings were let go.

Commentary from November 17, 2024
Looking back at this, I don’t know what was going through my mind when I did this 25 years ago. I think I was in a place that was really lonely and I wanted to say how I felt but I was so scared to do that because the pain was holding me back. I don’t know if this comic was the best way to do this, but at the time I would do these emotional off the cuff comics because that’s what I was known to do. I was in love with this woman, there are enough hints in this comic that those in our group would know who was — the third panel of the fourth page with the Masaru-san stuff and was one of them. We ended up getting together for a very brief period before falling apart. I learned a lesson about using art to express love, it rarely works out.

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